Happy September!

You know how some things just keep coming up? There has been a topic of conversation this summer having to do with Christian leaders who, during a crisis of life/faith are turning away from God.

Each of us will have or has had something happen in our lives that shake the very foundation of what we believe. Sometimes it done to us, sometimes we make a choice but at some point we will have a crisis in life - a crisis of faith that will cause us to question what we thought we believed.

One of my crises...that rocked me to my core, was when my mom died suddenly from aneurysm. Dean and I had just gotten married 7 months earlier and were living in New Hampshire. We got a call very early in the morning saying mom was in the hospital, after collapsing at church. We hurriedly threw things together and made the several hour drive in a blur. Arriving at the hospital we found her hooked up to machines and non-responsive. Well-meaning people said things like "God will heal her".... having to say good-bye to her was the hardest, heart-wrenching thing I had done.

Here was my crisis of faith (in its most simplified form): How could I trust a God that would suddenly take my mom, who loved Him and was devoted to Him, our family and serving others. I love Him... What would He ask from me?... What would He take from me? Could I trust Him with my life?

For years I fluctuated between fear and trust. He was not really safe for me anymore. I held back, I was tentative in my faith and how I walked that out.

Even in my most darkest seasons, my greatest doubts and sleep-robbing fears I never thought that I didn't believe in Him, I didn't want to walk away. But could I trust Him? Could I follow Him? That's a deeper issue, isn't it? It requires knowing His character. It requires an action on our part to look beyond the circumstances and feelings.

He gave me time to figure it out, while He kept nudging me closer to Himself. The truth of His character, faithfulness and love was proven over time.

God is not freaking out because you are questioning something or even if you get angry with Him. I have yelled and cried. He does not turn away from us because we need to wrestle with something.

It can be easier to walk away and not do the hard work of staying.

In any relationship there is a pivotal point of letting go or digging in. God is not letting go or turning away. He is there, waiting for us to choose. Let's choose Him.

I know that if you are struggling with something that is shaking you to the core; or you can't reconcile what you thought with the reality of what you see; or if you really don't know if God is real and you can trust Him, I know that He will be there for you.

Jacob, in Genesis 32, wrestled all night with God and in vs. 28 it says: "Then the man said, Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with men and have overcome." When I wrestle through my fears, my questions, my doubts, my hurts. All. Of. It. God meets me there and changes my name. He changes who I was, how I thought, how I act - to someone new.

I pray that you know how much God loves you.

I would love to hear from you!

All My Love ~
xo ~ Jodi