The thing about expectations is we learn to lower them in most situations, because then we are not disappointed and can be pleasantly surprised when it’s better than we thought. Then we are told to pray with expectation that God will do great things. It can be hard to reconcile those two thoughts.

I was having a conversation with one of my daughters about expectations and Judas came to mind. I know he betrayed Jesus and ended up killing himself. We can quickly make him into a bad guy, but for a moment let’s step back and look at how some of his feelings might not be that different from ours.

Jesus chose Judas and he followed Jesus with the expectation of a revolution to overthrow the Romans. We come into our walk with God with our set of expectations of how life should be, fellow Jesus-Followers should behave and leaders should lead. We can carry into a walk with Jesus a false promise -something He never said, but we assumed.

Judas was in charge of finances and didn’t always agree with how they were handled and what happened with them. If you have been a Jesus-Follower for any length of time there will come a day you will not agree with the rest of your community and leaders. How we handle hurts and misunderstandings can either allow room for the Holy Spirit to move in our lives and situations. Or we can limit how much He can move in our hearts with our righteous indignation and the right to be vindicated.

Judas spent three years watching and listening to Jesus. He had, I’m guessing, several opportunities to pour out his heart to Jesus about his hurt, his disillusionment, his frustration and all the other things that bothered him. But instead of going to the One who could bring clarity, hope and healing, Judas kept it all bottled up. He let his anger fester and his misunderstanding to rule his emotions and harden his heart.
How do we handle unmet expectations and unresolved hurts? Do we go to Jesus and pour our hearts out to Him or do we hold onto them and stay in the cycle of hurt and anger?

I know in my life there have been times that I allowed hurt, anger and disappointment to keep me bound up, lifeless in my walk with Jesus and turning from what I know to be true.

There’s another example I want to look at in Acts 1:23-26. The story picks up when the Disciples are looking for someone to replace Judas. The requirements were that they were with them from the beginning so they could be a witness. (v.21&22)

“So they proposed two men: Joseph called Barsabbas (also known as Justus) and Matthias.
Then they prayed, ’Lord, you know everyone’s heart. Show us which one of these two you have chosen to take over the apostolic ministry, which Judas left to go where he belongs.’
Then they cast lots, and the lot fell on Matthias, so he was added to the eleven.”

So how did Barsabbas feel not being chosen? Obviously they were both qualified. Barsabbas has a great opportunity here to be resentful and hurt.

I like to think, that even though it wasn’t his turn to be put in that position, he was able to bring whatever emotions he was dealing with to Jesus and move forward in a healthy way and Barsabbas continued to serve and be a witness to those around him. (I say that because some scholars have him dying as a martyr)

Whatever our response is when it’s not our turn shows our character and if we are willing to be faithful in obscurity.

We cannot have our value or identity wrapped up in getting acknowledgement or positions. We cannot gauge God’s love and approval by how He mets our expectations and we get what we want.

I have had both responses in my life. I have been like Judas and held onto my unmet expectations and disappointments with anger and resentment and I have continued to serve without angst through my confusion and hurt.

Yes, we can be disappointed, sad, mad or whatever when it’s not our turn with something we were really hoping for AND/ALSO we can still be faithful where we are and serve with a humble heart while we trust God.

We stand at a crossroad with each time we are faced with a disappointment or misunderstanding. It is up to us if we choose the path that leads to healing and hope.

If you have an unmet expectation or hurt, go to Jesus and pour your heart out. He is waiting to bring peace to your heart and mind.
If you are waiting for your turn, (it’s hard to wait, isn’t it?!) trust that God has this time set apart for you to learn, to grow and be prepared for your next step.

Have an amazing day LOVED OF GOD!
All My Love ~
Jodi xo

**Side Note on “casting lots” it was the method used during that time to answer questions without bias or other influences. It was a way to better discern the preferred will of God. They would inscribe the names in a piece of wood, stone or tablet, place them in a vase and shake the vase. Whatever lot fell out first was the one chosen or the answer to the question.
Also, some believe that the Disciples did this to keep the number at 12 (twelve tribes of Israel) and the method of casting lots was done because it was familiar and not necessarily from God.

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