Jodi Beth Cross

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The In-between Time

The Terrible Two’s. I’ve heard about it and have seen it action, so as a young mom I was gearing up for that battle. But, why didn’t anyone tell me that three was worse than two?!?! After sharing my horror stories, Mrs. Barnett, the child-whisperer at Ben’s pre-school, shared that is the year of in-between, the year of change. That in-between time of not being who they were and not fully being who they are growing into.

Change is hard. I want the world to go back BC (Before Covid). Before travel restrictions. Before churches closed and businesses shut down. Before masks. Before all the loss we are seeing and feeling. It is unsettling. What will be different tomorrow? How will I know what to do or not do? If we feel it, imagine how our kids are dealing with all this uncertainty.

Change can have an up-side. We are seeing real hope for change for racial injustice. The kind that changes long-standing, deep-rooted bias and mind-thoughts.

For any change to occur as a culture, as a nation, we need to start with us.

In Acts 9: 1-22, the writer, who most say is Luke, tells the story of Saul’s personal transformation from agitator to ally, from executioner to evangelist. We see in his story that Saul was on his way to arrest and imprison the followers of Jesus. Along the way a bright light and a voice brought him to his knees. Jesus challenged his actions and the why behind them: “Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?”.

Saul gets up blind as a bat and is led into the city. Saul thought he was in the right, he was raised to believe in and defend the Jewish Law and that way of life. BUT JESUS! Jesus came and threatened everything he stood for and believed in. OK, back to the story: Jesus tapped Ananias on the shoulder to go and pray for Saul…after a little fear-driven debate. Fear can hold us back from what we need to do. Ananias prayed for Saul and it says scales fell from his eyes.

What scales are covering our eyes? What are we seeing through a distorted lens? Are we allowing the love of Jesus to remove them from our eyes?

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” Matthew 7:3

Saul then got up, was baptized, ate and hung out with the disciples. I imagine he unlearned and learned many things. I also imagine the disciples had to work through any bias or mistrust they had for Saul. God is all about restoring relationships! The last couple of verses talk about the powerhouse Saul was in sharing Jesus, the very one he was set out to destroy.

Our internal transformation leads to external action!

So, yes, change is hard and life as we know it looks very different. BUT, there are many things that I hope never go back to the way they were before. Most of all of me! … us!

“Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32

I think we are in that in-between time of not wanting to be who we were, but not fully knowing how to be who we want to be. We need to be gracious in that journey with ourselves and others. It gets harder as our kids get older, they have their own thoughts, beliefs and want to figure it out. We give them tools and talk through the expectations and hope we have for them. We need to do the same for ourselves.

So, let’s not go back to who we were, and let’s give ourselves grace while we discover who God is setting us free to be.

You are loved and seen!
All My Love ~
Jodi xoxo

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