“Start with the end in mind.”
~ Stephen Covey

I wish I heard this concept earlier in my life. I think it could have saved some frustration and disappointment. This habit can help shape how we decide what we do or not do to get to the end result.

Dean and I are officially empty nesters, and I didn’t even consider what that would mean when we were first married. We started in the love bubble and you don’t think that’s ever going to change. Dean and I went through many phases in our marriage. Sometimes the distance between us was like a chasm, feeling more like roommates than husband and wife. While at other times we were very intentional, which bridged the gap.

Every relationship has a natural ebb and flow. You don’t have to have kids or be married to create distance and indifference. Work, life, friends, family, hobbies, etc. can all help towards that.

When we were getting less and less kids in the house, I started to feel this panic growing. What was I supposed to do? What would it be like with just Dean?

We had never been really been just the two of us. When we first got married we were in Youth With A Mission and lived in a community setting with shared bathrooms, community dining hall …you get the picture. There was always someone, somewhere. Then the kiddos came and life was running on all cylinders. We ran flat out for years.

It was weird as each kid left and the house dynamic changed. Similar to when each kid was born, we all had to adjust. As the needs at home became less, Dean and I had to find our way back to each other. It was not an easy transition for me to go from a full-time, all-in mom to an advisory, sometimes-I-know-what’s-going-on, mom. While figuring out how to be a couple again.

We had to make choices about finding things to do together. One example is: I took the tv out of our bedroom and joined him in the living room. Even if he was on his computer while watching tv or I was reading a book, we were together and could have a conversation. It was a small, but impactful thing.

It may seem silly to think about being an empty nester when you are in the middle of the crazy, but it will come and believe me, it’s a whole lot better when you like your spouse.

It is not lost on me that some of you have a different type of empty nest and didn’t plan on being alone at this stage of the game. While that can be devastating and my heart is broken for you. It is not the end of your story.

We can trust that, because of God!

He created each of us … uniquely and creatively. While circumstances continually change we don’t have to lose who we are and we can fully know that we belong to Him.

We can be confident in knowing our dream or goal can become a reality. It doesn’t matter what has happened, how many times we had to restart or even if we feel we are too old.

“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts, is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.” James 1:5-8

Isn’t it comforting to know that we can ask the God who created everything with precision and beauty, for wisdom?! We no longer need to be tossed around by our thoughts or circumstances to the point of aimless drifting. We can lean into all the wisdom and creativity and grace that God freely gives us. When we don’t have a clear goal, we get distracted so easily and can never make a decision.

What do we need to adjust to attain it? Whether it be personally, as a couple, as a family or as a business. What can we start doing today with our end in mind? What end do you have in mind?

Have an amazing day!
All My Love ~
JB xoxo

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