I have always wanted this space to be safe and sacred where we can both share how we are and what God is saying to us and teaching us. So, in that spirit, I will tell you how much I have been struggling these last few months. How I feel lost and a bit depressed. How I feel purposeless. How overwhelming the world, the church and our lives feel right now.

I have struggled to come up with something to write. All I want to do is get lost in a movie or a book. But instead, I called someone and had them pray for me. I turned on worship music and changed the atmosphere in my house and the thoughts in my mind. I prayed and worshiped. God came. And while I still have this low-grade sadness I am choosing joy.

Yesterday I listened to a recorded Insta-Live conversation between Annie F. Downs and John Eldridge, where in part of it they talked about grief.

John Eldridge shares that it’s ok to go in and out of grief. Jesus did. After Jesus found out about His cousin John’s death, He went to be alone but the crowds found Him. He had compassion on them and ministered to them.

“When Jesus heard that has happened, He withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place.
Hearing of this, the crowds followed Him on foot from the towns.
When Jesus landed and saw a huge crowd, He had compassion on them and healed their sick.”
Matthew 14:13&14

“Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of Him to the other side,
while He dismissed the crowd.
After He dismissed them, He went up on a mountainside by Himself to pray.
When evening came, He was there alone…”
Matthew 14:22&23

Annie F. Downs shared that she needs to be a whale when it comes to grief. She is able to go deep and sit there, but then she needs to come up to breathe and find joy.

I am reminded of that time David was facing similar feelings and how he chose to put his focus on who God is.

“Why am I so discouraged?
Why is my heart so sad?
I will put my hope in God!
I will praise Him again -
my Savior and my God!”
Psalm 42:11 (NLT)

If life teaches us anything it’s that sadness, disappointment, and a sense of just being overwhelmed is part of being human. But God gave us a way out, by looking to Him and praising Him for who He is and what’ He’s done for us.
(I’m not referring to clinical depression, if you need to see a therapist and get help, please do that!)

Giving ourselves permission, in the middle of our grief or a heavy sadness, to find joy is ok and is a gift.
It can be an “and/also” moment. I feel this really hard thing “and/also” MY GOD is with me and I trust Him!

Through the years, I have learned that I can fully trust God with my emotions and who I am because He gets me. His love for me and His understanding of me knows no bounds. I can be like David and remind myself of the Greatness and Majesty of God.

“Have you heard? Have you never understood?
The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth.
He never grows weak or weary.
No on can measure the depths of His understanding.
He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless.
Even youths will become weak and tired, and young men will fall in exhaustion.
But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength.
They will soar high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.
They will walk and not faint?”
Isaiah 40:28-31 (NLT)

As I type these words to you, there is an ember growing brighter, bringing with it a hope and a joy. While things remain the same around me, I can choose to focus on the most constant and consistent thing in my life … my God … my Savior … my Song … my Hope.

I don’t know where you fall in the “I’m going into hibernation, see you in a month” - “I’m skipping through a field of daisy’s and have so much joy” spectrum, but I hope God’s Word and His love for you brings you hope.

Let’s choose joy today!

Have an amazing day!
All My Love ~
Jodi xo

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You guys! This song!!!! Close your eyes and let it fill you! Thank you Rita Springer for your heart and your words.