Hannah

One morning I was making my bed and a thought popped into my head about Hannah getting what she prayed for and how she held it loosely, she was able to not have a choke hold on it.

This could come in a lot of different packages: Maybe it’s not holding onto your kids as they move away (I’m looking at you, Nicole and Mark🥹). What about not having your joy dependant on that “thing” that needs to happen, you can have peace and joy because of Who holds your heart in this waiting season. Or having this mindset: “I’ve been faithful and I’ve prayed for it sooo God owes me”. Maybe, like Hannah, we finally get our hearts cry.

Hannah was one of two wives of Elkanah. Peninnah had many children and Hannah had none. Year after year she was tortuted by Peninnah for not having kids. Year after year they traveled to give their sacrifice at the Temple, and she prayed for a child. Year after year she waited. No child ever came.

Let’s add another couple of layers of her despair: not only did she have to deal with the mean girl vibes from Penny. She also had to deal with her body not being able to get pregnant and all the emotions that goes along with that. Also in her culture there was a shame for not being able to bear children - especially boys.

Then there was this one year that turned out a little different, she could no longer handle having dinner with the family and the meanness of Penny, so she went and poured out her heart to God. Crying - her heart breaking - praying. Eli, the Priest, was watching her, thought she was drunk because no sound was coming from her mouth even though it was moving.

“Not so, my lord,” Hannah replied, “I am a woman who is deeply troubled.
I have not been drinking wine or beer; I was pouring out my soul for the Lord.
Do not take your servant for a wicked woman;
I have been praying here out of my great anquish and grief.”
1 Samuel 1:15&16

So Eli said: “Go in peace, and may the God of Israel grant you what you have asked of him.” V. 17

We all know what happens next. They go home and she gets pregnant and names the baby, Samuel which means “Asked of God.”

The next time Elkanah and his family went to the yearly sacrifice, Hannah stayed home until Samuel was weaned. After he was weaned Hannah kept her vow and brought Samuel to Eli to live and serve in the Temple.

“Could you, like Hannah, hold it loosely and give it back?”

I was always amazed by Hannah and her ability to walk away from a very young Samuel and doubted my ability to do that.
I’m a mess just saying good-bye to the kiddos when they are leaving to go home. Geesh.

Which brings me to my question?
What if that thing you are crying out to God to make happen finally becomes a reality, how do you hold it?
Is it in a choke hold? Is it offered back to God, with you as it’s steward, to faithfully use for His glory for as long as it remains with you? Is it dependent on what it is? Because some things may be easier to hold loosely than others. Can we walk away from it because it has not become our identity or the only purpose we have in life?

We hear a lot about praying - asking God for what we want/need. Jesus talked about it. Paul talked about it. We can focus a lot of time and energy into that part of our journey, but how are we when it happens?

THIS IS AN OPEN-ENDED QUESTION. ONE FOR YOU TO SIT WITH AND ASK YOURSELF.
I know I needed to do that.

For me.
It kinda came down - again - to trust.
Can I - Do I trust God with this dream … desire … plan … enough to set it down and walk away after so much of my emotions are wrapped up in it?

Hannah got to see Samuel each year when they went to Temple.
David had to go back to the pasture with the sheep after being in the palace for a time. The promise of being King must have looked uncertain and a long way away at that time.

Are we OK with God determining the when’s and how long’s?

I want to be.

I want my withness, as Ann Voskamp calls it, to be the center driving force of each day. Each dream. Each prayer. So that no matter what happens with it, I know I am fully and wholly loved by the Living, Loving God who died to bring me home to Himself.

Everything else is a cherry-on-top!

May I walk holding these prayers, these dreams, these blessings loosely because I know Who gave them to me and that I can trust Him with them.

I pray that for you too, Loved of God!

Have the best day!
All My Love ~
xo Jodi

P.S.
I will not be writing the week of my birthday (in 2 weeks). We’re going to celebrate!!! See you in May!

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