Dancing

Have you ever heard a song that so connected with you that it makes you stop and cry or dance or remember or grieve or celebrate? One of those songs for me is “We Dance” by Steffany Gretzinger.

Practicing “Doors” (That’s Chris)

Each time I hear it, I am so taken with the intimacy that we can have with God and how much He cherishes us. Then I remember a time when I was in Youth With A Mission and we were creating a drama called “Doors”. The story shows the “seeker” (me) being created by God and ultimately trying all these Doors - get it? - that take us away from Him and brings pain in our lives. Anyway, there is a scene at the beginning that shows the seeker with God and their relationship by dancing. I was supposed to dance with Chris (God) and look in his eyes. It wasn’t long, just a few twirls, but I. could. not. do. it. I had the hardest time looking in his eyes. I felt embarrassed and so self-conscious.

You know that God is always more interested in you, than what you do for Him, right? This was one of those moments. Come to find out that hidden deep inside my heart I felt unworthy and unlovable. OK, real moment coming…I was sexually assaulted by a family friend and a stranger. It wasn’t like I forgot those incidents, but I didn’t realize the scarring, deep pain and shame I was carrying. God did. He wanted me free from that and was using this little two minute waltz to show me.

Your “thing” may be different than mine, and you may really struggle with guilt (what I did) or shame (who I am) and that is keeping you from really, truly experiencing the deep, fierce, wide and unyielding love God has for you.

The stuff in our lives that just suck and shouldn’t have happened, whether by our choice or someone else’s, can cause anger, fear, etc. and those things can lead towards unhealthy behavior and actions.

Sometimes we need to interview our anger: “Why am I really mad that I have to fold another mountain of clothes?” I realized that I resented it because I felt forgotten, under appreciated, and not important. I thought I was going to change the world, not a million diapers and fold never ending laundry. I was than able to deal with the why and change how I viewed those things. The same thing can be done with fear, etc. When we name it, we are able to deal with it.

“Pain that is not transformed, will be transferred.” ~ Unknown

After a performance in Mexico, with this cutie. xo

That’s a great place for grace and forgiveness. To be able to have grace for myself. To be able to forgive myself: “If I wasn’t in the basement.” “If I didn’t say yes to babysitting.” Unless we deal with it, it will come out sideways to the people we love and how we treat ourselves.

The amazing thing about letting go is then we have space to be filled with God’s love and validation. He values us because we are His kids.

Another thing we may need to do with our pain is grieve what was lost or could have been. Grieving is a necessary step in healing.

I can still have all those feelings, but now I can fight them with the truth of who I know I am in God’s eyes. My private affirmation I receive from reading His Word, aligning and changing my thoughts and actions has given me a confidence and the ability to embrace who I am.

It is said that hurt people hurt people, but it’s also true that healed people heal people. My prayer is that God meets you where you’re at so that you may experience freedom.

“Instead of shame and dishonor, you will enjoy a double share of honor. You will possess a double portion of prosperity in your land, and everlasting joy will be yours.” Isaiah 61:7 (NLT)

All My Love ~
Jodi xoxo

I hope you enjoy the song!

Here is a bonus song, because it’s 2020 and it broke all the rules and I love it and it goes along so sweetly with the whole thing today. Love and hugs xoxo