We’re going to continue with this topic by looking at another woman who colored outside the lines when it came to what was culturally accepted and expected. Like Jael, who took a great risk to find freedom for herself and Israel, Tamar took a risk to receive and recover all the promises that God had for her.

We pick up her story right after Joseph is sold into slavery. Judah convinces his brothers to sell Joseph (rather than kill him) then Genesis 38:1-2 tells us: ”At that time, Judah left his brothers and went down to stay with a man of Adullam named Hirah. There Judah met the daughter of a Canaanite man named Shua. He married her and lay with her;”

The Bible doesn’t tell us why Judah left, but I don’t think it’s a big stretch to consider the shame and guilt he felt after what he did to his brother, Joseph. Perhaps he couldn’t be around the grief his dad was experiencing or seeing his brothers every day was too much for him. An interesting side note about Adullam while it is a Canaanite city it was given to Judah after Joshua defeated them. And David stayed there to hide from Saul. Also, Adullam means a hiding place, retreat, refuge.

So while Judah is hiding out in Adullam he meets and marries a Cannanite woman and she gave birth to three sons. Judah was making a life for himself outside of his family and the way God had designed for him to live. Shame and guilt will do that in our lives.

When Er, the first born, is old enough Judah finds him a wife named, Tamar.
* Let me sum up the next couple of verses so we can get to Tamar. Er is wicked before God .. Judah obviously did not train him in the ways of God .. and God killed him (v.7).
* As was the custom Onan, the second born, took Tamar as his wife to have children BUT as was also the custom any children born to Tamar would inherit Er’s land and it would not go to Onan. Not wanting to share the land with Tamar and her children, he made sure she didn’t pregnant. (v. 8-10) Because what he did was wicked in God’s eyes, God kills him too.
* Judah send Tamar back to her father until the third son, Shelah is grown. However Judah had no intention on ever giving him to Tamar. He thought she was cursed and didn’t want Shelah to die.(v.11) Funny how Judah never looks to how he raised them and that they were wicked and selfish but blames Tamar. When we are walking in sin, we tend to excuse ourselves because facing the truth means facing all the choices, emotions and behaviors that got us there and we don’t want to do that.

Tamar was probably around 15 when she married Er and since we know he was wicked, her life was probably very difficult. Then it goes from bad to worse when her second husband dies and she is sent home to live with her father again. Verse 11 tells us that Judah told her to live as a widow, which means she is trapped in this holding pattern because if she remarries she will be killed. So, she waits and waits for the promise of Judah giving her his third son, Shelah.

When it becomes clear that Judah has no intention of following through with his promise of marrying Shelah with Tamar she goes on the offensive when she is told that Judah is on his way to sheer his sheep.

“She took off her widow clothes, covered herself in a veil to disguise herself, and then
sat down at the entrance to Enaim, which is the road to Timnah…When Judah saw her, he thought she was a prostitute,
for she had covered her face. Not realizing that she was his daughter-in-law, he went over to her by the roadside and said,
’Come now, let me sleep with you.’” v.14-16

A couple of things real quick:
* Judah’s wife had died before this. At least he didn’t cheat on her.
* They agree that Judah will pay her a young goat but until the goat can be sent she asks for his seal, cord and staff.
* They sleep together, she gets pregnant and goes back to her father’s house in her widow clothes.
* Hirah, Judah’s friend, goes with the goat to pay her but cannot find the “prostitute”.
* Judah's seal, cord, and staff represented his authority, identity, and status. By requesting them, Tamar was asking for Judah's identification and authority, which were difficult to replace or deny. She was also holding Judah accountable for his failure to fulfill his duty to her. 
* Three months later they all find out she’s pregnant and Judah wants to burn her to death. Dude! That’s harsh!
* She sends the seal, cord and staff to him as a way of proving who’s children (she has twins) she is carrying.

“…’I am pregnant by the man who owns these,’ she said. And she added, ‘See if you recognize whose
seal and cord and staff these are.’ Judah recognized then and said, ‘She is more righteous than I, since
I wouldn’t give her to my son Shelah.’ And he did not sleep with her again.” v. 25&26

Wow! That’s a lot! BUT it gets better!

Tamar gives birth to twin boys, Perez and Zerah. The first baby stuck his hand out and the midwife tied a scarlet thread around his wrist so they would know who came out first. But he brings his hand back in and the other baby comes out first (is his hand coming out first freaky to anyone else? what was happening in there?) and Tamar names him Perez and the one with the scarlet thread, Zerah.

Now let’s jump over to Matthew 1:3:

“Judah the father of Perez and Zerah, whose mother was Tamar, Perez the father of Hezron, Hezron the father of Ram,”

Tamar is one of four women named in the geneology of Jesus and her children are also a part of Jesus’ blood line. She was a Canaanite that was honored by name. Meanwhile, Bathsheba was only referred to as “whose mother had been Uriah’s wife.” (v.6)

Judah called her righteous, so she must have learned about and believed in the God of Israel.

What struck me most about Tamar’s story is how it’s not so different from ours. (except for the whole pretending to be a prostitute part) So often our life doesn’t look like we thought it would. There are hurts, disappointments, loss and dreams only seen in our hearts. Tamar waited. and waited. and waited for the promise of a husband and children.

She must have had moments of sorrow and frustration and the why questions but she was also faithful in the waiting and righteous in how she fought for her promise.

I also think about the scarlet thread and how the color red respresents Jesus’ blood and our redemption. With Christmas right around the corner and celebrating the birth of our Savior, I am overwhelmed by the fact that God saw Tamar in her suffering, in her waiting and met her there.

Just like He does for me and for you! He sees us in our sorrows. He sees us waiting for our promise.

What promises are we holding onto and waiting for? Tamar fought for her promise…are we fighting or shrugging our shoulders with apathy and defeat?

I am grateful that God included a Canaanite woman who was cheated, mistreated, blamed, overlooked and probably shouldn’t have been in the geneology. That could describe me .. you .. everyone at any time in our lives. It shows me the heart and character of God. It bolsters my trust in Him while I’m waiting and circumstances feel like they are throwing my little life around like a toy sailboat in the ocean.

I also think about Judah running to Adullam as a refuge - a place to hide - but his shame and guilt was still there and a part of every decision and choice, BUT when we go to Our Father as our refuge - our hiding place - He takes our shame and guilt and replaces it with peace, forgiveness and grace. That’s why Jesus came. That’s why Jesus died. That’s why Jesus rose from the grave. We can walk in freedom and be made whole.

I am grateful that the God of the Universe met my need for redemption and poured out His love for me in His Son, Jesus!

I hope you will carry that trust, that gratitude into this Christmas season.
All My Love ~
Jodi xo