It’s been a while since I’ve had the privilege to guest blog. How are you doing through this year? Has your stress level been high? What has been your go-to through the last 6 months…binge watching shows, exercising, house projects? I’m a “yes” to that question. I want to share something that has helped me more than any of those things, and I’m hoping it may be a help to you too.

Psalm 73:25-26 says, “Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”

I had a goal to read all 4 gospels in the month of September, which will most likely run in October because #Life. Have you noticed that Jesus brought peace in each encounter He had: when He healed or diffused an argument or met a challenge?

I am my own worst enemy. I get stuck in my head and play all the scenarios. I am super hard on myself. I have not been great at giving myself grace. I am working on that. One thing I have learned is when I am spiraling in my thoughts, emotions or behavior it is usually connected to when I feel hurt, angry, overwhelmed, powerless or scared.

If you were with me in elementary and middle school you would know how much I loved to dream and imagine. I would get lost in worlds that were not like mine. Reading, TV, movies…anything that would let me be somewhere else. I can suspend reality and be there in the plot, however crazy and unrealistic. It drives Dean crazy, he’s much more of a realist.

Let’s play a word association game! I say a word and say what comes to mind. Ready?Rut; Limited; Online; Zoom; Compassion

Have you heard the saying: “It’s as slow as molasses going uphill in January”? It may be a New England thing. That’s how I feel right now. It feels hard to keep moving. Anyone else? Words are important to me. For so many years, I did not have the words to say how I was feeling. I used tv, movies and books to escape and get lost in fictional worlds. It was easier than dealing with what was happening in mine and not having the tools to express myself.

The Terrible Two’s. I’ve heard about it and have seen it action, so as a young mom I was gearing up for that battle. But, why didn’t anyone tell me that three was worse than two?!?! After sharing my horror stories, Mrs. Barnett, the child-whisperer at Ben’s pre-school, shared that is the year of in-between, the year of change. That in-between time of not being who they were and not fully being who they are growing into.

I have sat in my house and listened. I have sat in my house and cried. I have sat in my house feeling overwhelmed and lonely. I have sat in my house and laughed. I have sat in my house and was brave. I have sat in my house and celebrated. I have sat in my house and ate too much. Lord, help me!

I sat holding the hand that was always the epitome of strength to me. A hand that had shown me how to shoot a gun; hunt; work on my car; handle a Bible until it wore out; lovingly hold the hand of another; cut down a tree; drive a snowmobile; generously give; be a helping hand to others; and fold together in prayer. My dad, Milton Cross, was in his final few days of battling cancer that ravaged his body suddenly in the previous 6 months.